That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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