Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
