you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
