I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
