So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
