dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I believe in your delicious
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
