Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
