My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
