i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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