PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
