He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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