not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Your penis caused this!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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