Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
