her vagine was all disorganized.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
