It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
