make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
