I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
