i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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