my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
