I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
