It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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