why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
