What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
