____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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