I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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