Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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