isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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