so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
