I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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