The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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