i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
