your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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