You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
