worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
