During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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