the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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