I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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