well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
