Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
