moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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