not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They have beer where we have blood.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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