I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
