Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
