The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
