the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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