I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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