Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
