Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
