I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
