I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
