OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
