The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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